Trenchfoot

John Trenchfoot is entirely the wrong kind of man: misanthropic, bad-mouthed, apathetic, drunken and with a criminal record as long as your arm. He also happens to have super-powers.

 John and his equally nefarious best friends – Kevin McCarthy and Donnell Carlton – were gifted with super-strength, super-speed and seemingly limitless invulnerability in a bizarre accident involving an exploding goat. Now – for reasons that will present themselves as the saga continues – they have chosen to hide out in England's famous tourist-trap, The Lake District.

 But why would three men with such extraordinary powers be content to live the quiet life in the English hills?

 The answers stretch back far and wide to a murky past that includes a showboating band of so-called heroes, The Starlight Squad: a team who live by the code that no good deed goes un-filmed, and that heroism is defined not by intention but by the number of people who witness it on YouTube. Led by arch media-manipulator Bob Ketching, the Squad's membership includes Amy Greenwood, a.k.a. Solar Girl: a devious and treacherous former prom-queen who also happens to be an old flame of Trenchfoot's.

 Then there's Brad Meltzen: a criminal geneticist and former employer of Trenchfoot and company whose personal closet is packed full of skeletons, and whose scientific acumen is surpassed only by his unquenchable thirst for power.

 And let us not go without mentioning the dark wizardry of one-time televangelist Alvin the Holy and his chief henchman, the emotionally-scarred former ice cream salesman Calamari George.

 Human lie-detector William “Bic C” Corona; obsessive, mad Egyptian Aardak Korotoush; cross-dressing Alien bounty-hunter, John Voight (not that Jon Voight); wheelchair-bound, laser-powered former gang-lord Buddha McKenzie...the roll-call of freakish characters gunning for our boys goes on and on...

One thing is for sure: with a list of agitators like this one, Trenchfoot and friends will not be able to sustain their peaceful life in the country for very long and, as events from the past conspire against them, their journey will take them everywhere from Leeds to Texas, to the Caribbean.

 Jump on board now and immerse yourself in a universe where the good guys are bad, and the bad guys are rotten to the core. And all because of one hairy, little goat...